5. Dealing With Pornography
We need to retrain our thinking on this subject. The modern world has literally trashed its brains on this topic and is paying a VAST social and personal price. What begins as a small habit, becomes addiction and then destroys men, their sexual drive and their relationships. This topic touches on an absolute bedrock to personhood, identity and intimacy something of the highest value, to be protected and nurtured, not sold for small dimes…
A much greater good is on offer. Watch this 11 min clip … Flame – Rob Bell
All of us as individuals, then as fathers and grandfathers, need to understand what this is about. A quick primer on the topic is a talk by Jonathan Doyle – Understanding Pornography. Click on the link for invaluable insight for $10 which you can download and reuse.
ON RETRAINING OUR THINKING AND STRUGGLING WITH TEMPTATION
- Ro 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but continually be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you may be able to determine what God’s will is-what is proper, pleasing, and perfect.
- 1 Cor 6:18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
- Rom 6:23 The wages of this sin is always death â€“ now! Â Not later……
- Fr Ken Barker has a good turn of phrase regarding temptation we get offered covered cockroach……
Do the work…. prayerfully….quietly…… in His presence.
The Crucified and Risen Man will never let us go, He simply loves us too much.
There is no other path home.
He has won the right to be with us IN this very space of struggle even in the places of our deepest disrepair and selfishness.
When you look at the crucifix, don’t first see Sacrifice for Sin… and get lost in guilt.
See Him first as your brother, blazing a path through the darkness to come to you where you are, in all the disrepair and mess, joining you in the heat of the struggle. Ask HIM for help, for companionship…
Warrior and Lifeguard,
Son of Man,
He who brings life from death…….
Utterly human, (as well as divine)
Risen with the wounds…
Prayer, peace, patient perseverance, the honest open support of other men, and counseling will win the day for those of us who are caught in this area of our lives. Again see Jonathan Doyle’s talk for clues about this.
If Pornography is a PROBLEM do something about it immediately – I have come to set the Captives Free
10 STRATEGIES THAT WORK
- Get help —this is almost impossible to beat on your own. Admit that you have a problem
- HALT principle recognise when you are HUNGRY/ANGRY/LONELY/TIRED, this is when you are vulnerable. STOP means you don’t go any further. A stop at any stage is a win. Get out before you get in.
- Limit access points – computers, strip clubs, etc move your computer into public space. Tell your friends never to go home late at night with out you.
- Accountability Partners – tell someone trusted everything. If possible another man.
- Software protection and options – filters, give access to your browser historyÂ to someone, get Safe Eyes, and block your cable /TV adult channels.
- When travelling get the hotel to block the adult channels. Do not go out at night alone.
- Recognise Co Morbidity. Deal with other addictions like alcohol.
- Grace works with Nature. Go to Reconciliation, seek prayer, and start praying yourself. Get a prayer partner.
- Lower testosterone – exercise etc
- Decide the man you want to be. Have a better vision for you. Write it down and share it with some close friends.
Websites and other resources
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTD_itXrR6E The Great Porn Experiment – good scientific data around the damage porn does to men of all ages.
- http://www.nfcmusa.org/index.cfm?active=1 NFCM – Protecting your children/accountability software
- http://reclaimsexualhealth.com/, www.pornnomore.com, Two Catholic sites dedicated to ministering to those who desire to break their addiction to pornography and lust.
- www.livingwaters.org.au – Living Waters Australia is developing a nationally known Christian network of groups for the healing of people’s damaged emotions, relationships, and sexuality.
- www.Porn-Free.org Personal site started after God freed the author from sexual addiction in 1998. It has free online courses that some would find beneficial.